Help, is there anybody out there?

After a thousand phone calls, a lot of gnashing of teeth, and trying to remain polite in Finnish and English, we now have an internet connection again. This is the superfast version, so everything downloads in a blink! We received the letter from Sonera, kindly informing us that all was ready to go, so I plugged in the modem, held my breath, and..... nothing happened. Tried again, nothing, except for the fact that the internet light on the modem was lit. I phoned Sonera, and sat listening to cheesy Finnish Muzak for about 45 mins, and eventually got a tech bloke, who spoke better English than me (After I stammered my way through explanations in Finnish). He 'pinged' the line, and told me that the modem was connected to the line, so the problem was obvoiusly between the computer and modem. He said that another department would have to phone me to sort it, at a charge of 30€. Thanks very, very, much, but no. So I phoned up Siemens, the maker of the modem, to be told by a haughty sounding man in Finnish that I had contacted the commercial operations line, and would I phone another number? I did, and got told that the modem we have is not the responsibility of Siemens (Although their name is on the cover...), as our previous operator, Elisa, had imported them especially into the country, so they wouldn't tell me a thing. Oh, dear. Not really feeling able to ask Elisa for help with a problem that was with another operator, I attempted to phone up a local computer shop. This being the area known as Savo, with an accent approximate to those heard on the farthest west tip of the Beara peninsula sometime after closing time on a dark and windy night , and given the knowledge that English is on the less side of common, I failed miserably in my attempt to charm even a relevant phone number from the gentleman at the other end of the line. As it was 3.55, and I'd been trying for 4 hours, he was about to close up shop, I gave up, and resolved to sort the situation at first light. So I eventually phoned up Elisa, and explained my problem. I discovered first that an ethernet cable and a phone cable both fit the same socket, but the ethernet cable has 6 connections, and a phone 4 or 2. Hurrah, another light on the modem! The Elisa guy seemed completely unperturbed by the fact that I was wanting to make changes to the modem his company had given me, in order to sign up with the competitors, and he explained that for Sonera the modem's VPI needed to be 0 and the VCI needed to be 33. Great, but how on earth do I find these numbers to change them? - Just type in the web address of the modem in internet explorer. - But I'm not connected to the internet! - It doesn't matter, just do it. So I typed a string of numbers and dots into the address field, and up came a website, or something that looked like it. My very own private connection, just to my modem! (Or maybe I was in contact with Mars, and never knew). I played around for a while, found the VCI and VPI (which I still don't have a clue as to what they're short for) then lights started to flash all over the place, and suddenly the world was my oyster. Apart from hearing Finland's eurovision entry for the best part of 3 hours in call queuing systems, and wanting to jump up and down on the modem, I just saved myself 30€. Was it worth it? Ah, well, it was a good story.